Monday, September 03, 2007

Am I ?

I forgot to mention in my previous post that I am back at my training desk after 28 days vacation.

While landing in Khartoum airport, as usual, I looked out through the window to see the joining point of the both the Nile rivers at Omdurman…the white and blue Nile.
I couldn’t locate it as usual as I couldn’t find the rivers at all.
I could see a vast lake with no way to know which is what?
Instantly I remembered the previous days TV news coverage of floods in Sudan.
But it was not me who made the floods and cyclones.
Am I?

After landing, on the way to Hotel Meridian, picked up by my company driver, I saw an accident where two peoples died in front of me, before the Ambulance arrived.
Both were speeding in the opposite directions for every one to see.
I am not responsible for that.
Am I?

I had to take a ‘Fokker’ flight to the field where I was working, in the wee hours of the morning.
In the air, I looked down and I could see the roads broken in many places suspending all road traffic.
I am not the one who did all those damage.
Am I?

Some of the trainees were sick because of Malaria. With the rains and floods comes Malaria like a robber.
I am not the one who spread Malaria.
Am I?

Then why me ? Why was that scary fella targeting me? Of all the people, why me?

Says everybody that I am good…then why was it gunning at me?
just me !

Listen to this!!!

It was the second day of my arrival.
I had my shower after my work in cold, hot and cold again, James bond style.
Out of the room in a casual slip-on foot wear to ease of heaviness that lingers with my legs, due to the usage of the heavy mandatory safety boots.
I was at ease and stood a second on the platform looking at the deepening dusk and started descending the steps to the ground and then I stood still uneasily, as my sixth sense gave me an alarm. I had the very well known African feeling of someone or something watching me.
Slightly crouched, I looked around cautiously squinting my eyes, looking through the building shadows for a jackal or wolf.
I couldn’t see any moment and nothing moved around me. But I think I saw some moment on the ground a bit far away but I couldn’t see that again while I looked closely.
I eased my body and moved my legs just one step and I saw that creepy one looking at me …a tiny crab, a normal, harmless land crab. Probably out from its hole for his pray.

I took the next step and there it was, as fast as a snake on to my exposed skin of my right foot, in between the leather straps

Ouch!! That sharp pain was like an electric drill, while it enjoyed making me cry out with its scissor snipers clamping my skin.

As I bend to inspect my leg with my hand, it ran a few feet and started watching me with his bulged eyes. I took out my hankie from my pocket and caught it fast and took it to the cemented lighted platform of my residence block. My leg was bleeding slightly, which I washed and applied some Mercurochrome. But the bitten part was dark purple.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
I put my friend down to see what else it has in store for me. As soon as I removed the hankie, it stood glaring at me in its attacking position with the two scissor arms extended and ready for another crimping.
It stood still, while I took this picture with the flash. The flash might have scared the fella, as the poor thing dashed behind the wooden frame of the building.
I let it go.

I did nothing against it or anybody, but why was it just waiting me ?

Now I ask you why it is me.
Did I make the floods that made it to come out of his hole?
Did some one pay it to crimp me?

Am I responsible for its miseries too?
Am I?
Current music : Lucille-Kenny Rogers.


Gazza said...

You have to admire it's bravery to take you on,did some damage for a small thing,it must be thanking it's lucky stars it picked on you,most people would have crushed it?

mindinside said...

I hope you are feeling better now?

Keshi said...

u r a very kind soul Jac...I wud hv freaked out like crazy, it wud hv scared that little thing so much! :(

anyways u ok now?


aurora said...

I, too, hope you're okay.

Sorry you were hurt, but you told this story so well.

I once saw a man die in a motorcycle accident. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. I was shaken up for days afterwards.

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

What a powerful post.
Witness to such a tragic accident.
A bite from a disgruntled crab.
There is much needless suffering in the world, so perhaps you got off easy.

mystic rose said...

OH. what wonderful compassion. THIS, Im sure not everyone has!

samrina said...

Hope you're well now.

Loads of prayers.

Take care

Janice Thomson said...

I think you answered your own question being bitten you paid even more attention to the surrounding tragedies and questioned many things...and perhaps an answer will come. Hope you are ok...that's a nasty bite from such a little fella.
Mystic is right - your kind of compassion is rare.

shimmer said...

ouchhh! that must've hurt so much! umm...umm...maybe the crab thought you're a perfect meal? hehehe...its kinda tiny crab but looks scary to me! :-S

hope you'll feel better soon. ;;)

starry nights said...

Hope your toe feels better , ouch~ that must have hurt. sometiems when everything seems to go wrong we tend to blame ourselves and ask the question "why me" I know that I have felt targeted. take care jac and hope you feel well.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

Man, I woudn't want to run into one of those! Who knows why he did it. Maybe he just had a bad day. :)

November Rain said...

Living in Fl I am well aware that after a Hurricane it will rain blue crabs

literally rain crabs

and they all have a nasty pinch

make sure you keep the sore clean I wouldnt want to loose you Jac

also Crabs are just crabby like crabby people they live by the motto

misery loves company

(pssst got a new post up :P)

LADY LUXIE said...

eeeeeegads!...snooks to you Jac..I dunno' if it would be proper to laugh or cry at your crabby misfortune hee! hee! ( there I chose to laugh..)...But that is one scary scary crab there...Good thing I'm here and you're there and I'm nowhere around that thing near you or else you would have thought the world had come to an end from the deathly scream I'd have given he! he! he!...

You outa' pamper that poor wounded foot of yours...and're such a good soul to let crazy crabby' get away!...I'd have...eeey'...wait....was that a butterfly I jst saw flying all around your blog????!!!...Uuuuuuuh''d you do that eh?!

PS: thanks for the sweet comment...inspiring.

gazza27 said...

Jac,i never asked if you were ok,i just thought a minor thing like this wouldent have got you

CapCity said...

OUCH! I hope you're feeling better! Don't know about any miseries that u r responsible for - but i can tell u that u've bought many smiles to this heart of mine;-)

freddie said...

things just happen sometimes...
ciao from Rome

Jahooni said...

I have been trying to leave you messages and today is the first day that it actually worked.
Ouch Ouch Ouch!

Nan said...

I think I would have just about died if that thing bit me. lol

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Okay, I have been thinking a bit more deeply about this post.
After all you have seen, and thought AM I responsible?
This little sweet crab, bit you to remind you of the sweet pain of being ALIVE.
A little reminder that if you are still here to feel pain, then you are still HERE!!!

Neers said...

like the old fable goes:

there was once a sage bathing on the banks of a river, and was suddenly bit by a scorpio. he picked up the wee thing and deposited on the high/dry ground to keep it safe... it bit his hands and fell down... the sage once again did the same... and the same thing again... this happened a few times... when a curious little boy walked up to the sage and said "o, wise one? why do you do this? this scorpio is poisioning you and you keep helping it?"

the sage replied "thats exactly why... when being a mere reptile this one is not ready to give up his innate behaviour. why then being a human being, i should think of giving up what is innate to me?"

one man's poison... other one's meat! :)

Swati said...

hey..m here for the first time.. how r u now? really appreciate your coolness.. how well u hv mentioned all this!

Anali said...

Oh no!! So sorry that you were bitten and hope that you are healing well! You did get a great picture though of the little guy. ; )

Jac said...


Crush that poor Teeny weenie thing ?
Oh no ! that would be a shame.

Jac said...



Jac said...


It must have had some bitter moments from one us before.

Cant blame it since they don't normally attack with out a reason...more over I am alive and kicking.

Jac said...

You too have a kind and sensitive soul. Sometimes incidents like that shake you up

I am ok, thank you.

Jac said...

Indigo blue

Though it was painful at that tame to make me say 'ouch!, I am always aware of the preciousness of life, be it an animal or human.

I am thankful for the life I have for many reasons… many of those reasons may look unbelievable to many, you included.

Jac said...


I do have it, thanks.

*smile back, with interest !!

Jac said...


Thanks for the prayers, I am ok.

Jac said...


I don't think that you would have done anything otherwise.

Well, how could I let that fella' know that I am already aware of all those happening around me, with out it reminding with that nasty bite.LOL

Jac said...

Will it surprise you to know that if it was born marine and fully grown up…it might have ended up as my meal.
I am ok, thanks.

Jac said...

I am ok starry.
You got very valid a point in your comment about blaming everything on us… how right you are !!
I should not be blaming me.
Thanks for that nice words.

Jac said...

May be his/her mate was nasty that day and so I was on the receiving end. LOL

mathew said...

you dont have to be guilty about anything long as your conscience doesnt say..

btw love this Kenny Rogers song..

Jac said...


You won't loose me for any reason.

You just be poppping up here once in a while to keep me alive.

I will take care, thanks.

Jac said...

I don’t mind you laugh when I say ‘ouch, with the pain.

Thank God, you were not anywhere around or else that scary thing would have bitten my hell out if fright!!

That is my butterfly! Try catching it with your curser and see what it says !!

I think you don’t need any inspiration. LOL

Thanks for the feed back.

Jac said...

I am always ok like a cat gazza.

I just seen your other blogs !!

Jac said...

I am ok now

Thanks for those lovely inspirations.

Happy to hear that I made you smile whole heartedly.

Jac said...

Welcome back and thanks.

Jac said...


Welcome back.
Missed you here during your vacation.
I read about your fishing trip with lot of adventures.

Thanks for the feed back.

Jac said...

It is not good time for you to get scared. LOL

Later, I will send it to you to scare you.


Jac said...

indigo blue
Thank you for coming back and reminding me. LOL


Jac said...


That is so kind of you to write that.

I could never harm it...or else how can I make it realise that all are not its enemies.

Exactly, I would do it a hundred times with out harming it.

"one man's poison... other one's meat"...I couldn't have said it better.

Jac said...


Welcome to the window to my soul.

Come back again and I will give you more to read.


Jac said...


Look at it ...though scary, it was so photogenic.

Only my flash scared it.

Jac said...


Thanks matt.

That song is old but I too like it.
Old is gold.